Understanding Severance Agreements: A Kitchen Metaphor

In my fantastical reality, the kitchen is a universe of play and imagination, and if I want to give you a kitchen metaphor about severance agreements, I’ll do it in the friendliest of ways. The reason this works? Because if severance agreements are the cake of my industry, then apron-wearing is the icing. Welcome to my kitchen, a place where creativity meets methodology in perfectly measured proportions for beautiful results.

My kitchen is a metaphor for career transitions, and spotting the red flags in severance agreements is a bit like picking out the apron I will wear while I create legal dishes in the kitchen. In this article, we’ll be blending Jillie Willie’s playful and colorful aesthetic with the informative legal insights from our article as a way to describe how, just like finding the perfect apron, knowing how to spot red flags in severance agreements is a critical part of the transition process.

The importance of making sure the severance agreement you are presented during your transition from a company has no problems would be like opening up my pantry and making sure that there are no expired ingredients or awful smells before cooking any new recipe. In this case, I am taking the metaphor of the expired ingredients, or the red flags, and using it to cover the potholes of a severance agreement. That means, if I am wearing my apron and grab an expired piece of salmon out of the fridge to prepare sushi, I am going to be disappointed (and possibly endanger my social reputation).

If, when presented with a severance agreement, we choose not a second set of eyes, or fail to ask questions or haggle terms, we may end up with an expired piece of salmon that will ruin the entire dish of transitioning from one career to the next harmonious occupation. The biggest mistakes people make with severance agreements are as follows: (1) not reading the entire agreement (2) failing to understand how an agreement impacts you and/or your family (3) missing key ‘ingredients’ (or terms) in the agreement (4) forgetting to think through how the agreement can impact your future (which is often related to the facts of the severance or termination) (5) not understanding how issues with severance agreements, such as extended periods of non-competition, are very commonly litigated.

First, the ingredients (terms/requirements) that people need to understand before signing a severance agreement are:

Second, making sure that the severance agreement does not contain ingredients that are going to be bad for your digestion of transitioning from one industry to another is imperative. Third, taking steps to make sure the ‘fit’ of the severance agreement is one that will serve you in the long run is just as important as reaching into your corner cabinet and getting the proper sized pot for the situation. The fit of the severance agreement might not be the material components, but more about whether you understand what the requirements will be after the agreement is signed. This includes considerations such as:

Fourth, understanding the care instructions of your severance agreement is as important as understanding how to care for the proper cut of salmon for the sushi. Care instructions of a severance agreement might include:

Fifth, learning how to change your earrings, or in this case negotiate, will ensure that you have all the right accessories for the process of making the best severance agreement possible. The accessories of a severance agreement include things like negotiating for:

Sixth, where you place the salmon in the fridge, or where you sit down with your severance agreement. The placement of a severance agreement is not a preference of placement, but more about timing. When you are presented with a severance agreement you often only have 21 days to review the agreement before signing. Not knowing the timeline is as critical as knowing how long you need to defrost the fish to prepare the sushi in the first place.

Seventh, double check the agreement aka taste test before you sign. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen cooks drop the temp on their oven and ruin the entire dinner because they got distracted by the reality show playing in the corner. How many times have you seen a severance agreement that you didn’t understand in better detail? Just like the salmon, take a look and make sure that covering everything is as easy as tasting the pieces of sushi to ensure that the salmon is not spoiled.

Remember, just like it is important to have the right apron before heading into my kitchen, it is important to have the right team of professionals to get the best results on a dish that is being prepared for your career. You wouldn’t pull a recipe out of a magazine for someone creating the dish, if you were the chef, would you? Take the time to find the right cooks for your needs before you begin serving dinner in my fantasy world.